Well I could not think of much to post these days so I thought that I would post so more of my book! feel free to tell me what you think. I'm still in edit mode so I can change things if they seem reasonable.
where we left off:
Johan waited until the man was out of site and then quickly herded the sheep down the hill.
Here we go: He quickly drove the sheep into the pen. He then pulled the skin that served as a door to the little hut back. He motioned to his mother who was sitting inside. Both Johan and his mother ran towards the edge of the woods by their house. Johan bent down and opened a cleverly hidden hole in the ground. Inside there was a bag of money and two bark backpacks. Johan and his mother each took one. Johan grabbed the money and headed towards the cellar. Once he was inside the cellar he grabbed as much food as he could fit in to the back pack. Then he grabbed a box of candles, and a box of matches. As he went up the steps he heard his mother come out of the hut. Then he heard a voice that sent shivers down his spine. The man…he must have forgotten something and had come back.Johan heard him bellow “What are you doing woman?”Johan did not wait a second; he silently put down his backpack and picked up a large stick that was lying on the ground near him. He then walked quietly over to the hut and peeked around the corner. When he saw the man he felt adrenalin surge through his body. He ran forward and drove a swift blow to the back of the man’s head. The man staggered but did not fall. He then turned to see who had hit him. As he came towards Johan, Tessin quickly struck the back of his neck. As the man keeled over Johan shot a look at Tessin. She just smiled and picked up the backpack. “We better get going, before he wakes up.” She said.And so they left. Neither looked back and neither would ever see the small hut again, but they did not care, for there were too many bad memories inside.
end of chapter 1
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2 comments:
I'm a prolific writer myself, though my works will probably never be known to anyone as proffesional, but anyway, I just wanted to say, very nice job. I noticed you spelled "Hole" as whole, and you wrote "lying" as ling. Other than that, it seems pretty well done. Grammer and punctuation aren't my strong areas, so I can't offer much help there if it's needed.
The story grasps my attention and makes me want to know more. That is what every writer hopes to do. Keep it coming.
Thanks so much for reading it. I'll fix the spelling mistakes... I seam to be the worlds worst speller. Well thanks!
Forrest
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